A few weeks ago, my angry blaspheme-filled blog post On Assholery blew up. By blew up, I mean I had 200 times the usual hits on my blog, and zillions of comments. You’d think that would be a good thing, but it turns out that when your blog gets a lot of visitors, it doesn’t mean people actually read the blog and understood what you were saying. And the comments got extremely nasty. One woman posted about her post-partum depression and another commenter called her weak (in less nice terms) for having a mental illness. On a post about NOT BEING AN ASSHOLE. I deleted that one. My first deleted comment, pretty sure that means I am a real blogger now, right? Sigh. The little troll-free corner of the internet I had was fun while it lasted.
There were also a zillion “yeah, fuck breast feeders, they’re assholes” comments on that post. In fact, yesterday (which you may recall was CHRISTMAS), someone posted that breast feeding is child molestation and that women who breast feed are mentally ill. No, I am not making that up. I deleted that one too.
Guess what? I breast fed and pumped for The Girl, and I exclusively pumped for The Boy, for a year with each of them. The Boy got formula added to his breast milk in the NICU to help fatten him up faster, and we fed our kids the free can of formula you get in the mail unsolicited when you get pregnant, but otherwise, I fed them from my boobs. In fact, with both kids, I produced so much breast milk, we gave it away to other families to feed their kids with. I had boobs of steel, I was a poster child for the model breast feeding working mom. And you know what? I STILL think people who shit on formula-feeding moms are assholes. AND, I also think people who shit on breast feeding moms are assholes. Breast feeding is a perfectly healthy normal way to feed your child. It is not child molestation. It is not a mental illness. If you call someone a mentally ill child molester for feeding their child from their breast, you are an asshole. You are the reason we can’t have nice things. You are ruining our world.
Like, do I not make it clear, in every fucking post on this blog, that I think people who shit on other moms for doing it differently are being assholes? How could I be more clear about it? What would I need to do to make it more clear that this blog is, and always has been, about accepting that there are lots of different ways to parent, and there is no one right answer? DO I NEED TO WRITE IN ALL CAPS TO GET THAT THROUGH TO PEOPLE?!?! Christ on a cracker.
And what makes me the most frustrated is that I am probably feeding some trolls with this post. I wanted to share a post today about The Boy and his adorableness, because it’s the fucking holidays, and instead here I am, asking people yet again to stop being assholes. Just, seriously, stop it. I don’t want to have to write any more posts like this.
The other day we were discussing mammals with my soon to be nine child. As an example to support humans being mammals i told him he was breast fed too. He was horrified and disgusted. I could not stop laughing…
I really love your writing and perspective and I couldn’t have agreed more with your first Assholery post. Keep writing! 馃檪
There are ‘haters’ everywhere!!! You should be an ‘Auburn’ lover around ‘Alabama’ fanatics. It’s unbelievable the hatred that is spewed–I don’t think people were so mean before those reality shows where people are always fighting and ‘cussing’ others out. Also, the internet adds an anonymity that mean people can hide behind. I just remember my mom telling me every day, “Be a lady!”
Go spend time with your precious children and give them a hug from Mormor.
oh, and Jan.6, holler “War Eagle!”
Love seeing Engineering schools with smart people also excel in academics! We have 7 astronauts and the president of APPLE who are grads!
I forgot to mention that my MIL accused me of poisoning DS because I nursed him. She said my milk was bad because I taught school during the day and would nurse the rest of the time. Hmmmmm maybe that’s what happened ;). Anyway, she was my first ‘hater’!
I agree with everything you are saying. I love your posts. And normally don’t comment but I think you are right about feeding the trolls. They will always be here unfortunately. And what they are looking for is a reaction. I don’t have any answers except perhaps the continued deletion of comments while going on our own merry way. I can imagine the anger you feel but I think it’s what they want.
Just want you to know that I love you…..not in a I’m a creepy stranger way but in a I appreciate your point of view kind of a way!