You guys. I have gushed before about how awesome my friends are, and how they gave me amazing presents and paid for a cleaning service for us when I got cancer. I don’t mean to minimize their kindness or their awesomeness, because it is very appreciated, but I think you will all agree that this gift from my friend Emily is, by far, the coolest gift I have ever received. The gift is this: she wrote me a song.

WROTE ME A SONG ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!

When Emily sent me an email with the rough cut of the song and told me she wrote it for me, she said that if I didn’t like it, she wouldn’t tell anyone it was for me, but, she wrote it for me. And I listened to it and cried and FREAKED OUT and said “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME” like 3o times during the song because seriously, the song is fucking amazing. Like, the lyrics are fucking amazing, and the melody is perfect–it’s so upbeat, but then there’s this one moment where there is a minor cord and you’re like “Ohhhhhh, she hasn’t gone off her rocker, she’s just putting on a brave face.” So I emailed Emily back and I’m pretty sure I used the phrase “are you fucking kidding” (I say fuck a lot) and told her the song is perfect and I love it and this is by far the coolest gift I have ever received.

As if that wasn’t enough, she dedicated the album to our family. You see, Emily’s brother is Mr. E, of cocktail and death threat fame. Which means, Emily grew up with The Hubs and can tell all kinds of crazy stories about the shit Mr. E and the Hubs did that would get them arrested if they were doing it today.

If you asked Emily why she wrote the song for me, she’d tell you it’s because of something I did for Mr. E’s daughter back in 2012. Mr. E’s father in law was in the hospital, and Mrs. E was there with him, and away from their infant daughter, which predictably led to breast milk supply issues. Unfortunately, their daughter is, like Mr. E, a connoisseur of fine foods, and thus refused to drink formula. Just flat out refused. They were starting to panic when The Hubs said, “Hey, let’s give them some of your milk.” I was such an overproducer that the milk was overtaking our spare freezer by then, so I said, “Great idea!” So, Mr. E drove the two hours up to our house and took a couple coolers full of the stuff, and that got them through until Mrs. E could get back to their daughter and get her supply back up.

To me, it was no big deal to give that gift. I mean, what was I gonna do with all that extra milk anyway, make ice cream? It felt like they were doing us a favor by taking it off our hands. But to Mr. E’s family, that milk was liquid gold. It helped them get through a very rough time, and they were incredibly grateful. So grateful that Emily wrote on my copy of her album “I will be forever grateful for what you provided for” her niece.

We all have talents that we don’t think of as being that big of a deal, but to people who are in need of those talents, they are HUGE. And I didn’t know it, but I needed this song. It is nourishing my soul in a way that I can’t even begin to express. I have many redeeming qualities, but jazz-musician-level coolness is not one of them–but it is a quality that Emily has. And that song is just really fucking cool. Emily is craaaaaazy talented, and her band is just really fucking good.

If you are in the Seattle area this week, and you’d like to hear Emily and her band, Emily Asher’s Garden Party, play my song live, then come to the Triple Door downtown tomorrow, Wednesday November 5. It’s an all ages show and I’ll be there with The Hubs and an entire entourage of people, including a couple of bloggers you may follow (you’ll have to come to the show to find out who!), two of my cousins, and my adorable oncologist and his lovely wife. You can buy tickets here, or at the door. I would love to see you guys there! And if you’re not in the Seattle area, you can buy her album and find out when her band is playing in your area, and even listen to my song, at their website.

Emily, thank you for this gift. You are amazing, and your family has meant so much to The Hubs over the years. We love you!