A Very Heathen Christmas 

Here’s the deal with our family: we’re not religious. We’re heathens. It’s not that we don’t believe in God necessarily, it’s just that we can’t be bothered to care either way. We’re also not anti-other people’s faith, unless it involves them being a dick. Hate faith we’re super opposed to. But if your faith is about kindness and love, then you get down with yo bad selves.

Just because we’re heathens, though, doesn’t mean we don’t love Christmas. (Well, I do anyway; The Hubs is a bit of a humbug, but he grudgingly tolerates my Christmas cheer.) This is how I feel about Christmas:


yes, those are Mickey Mouse ears on my Santa hat.
Yeah, I’m basically Buddy the Elf. I freak out at the end of the Macy’s parade when Santa comes. And I decorate like crazy. My favorite part of Christmas decorations is the lights. It’s our rainy season, and it gets dark at about 4:30 these days way up here (did you know Seattle is north of Maine? Look it up) and Christmas lights make it feel more hopeful and cozy instead of dreary. 

Don’t get me wrong, I get that for Christians this is a holy day and I know the story of the birth of Jesus. In fact, I tell it to my kids. It’s important for them to know that stuff if they’re going to live in this culture. We just also tell them that whether they believe Jesus was the son of God is up to them. And we celebrate the kindness in the story–the wise men bringing Jesus gifts, the angel bringing good tidings. 

The Girl isn’t sure about Santa anymore, The Boy still believes in Santa. I think he’s worried if he says Santa isn’t real, the gravy train of presents will stop. Which is probably why he’s all “Sure mom, I’ll take a selfie with you and Santa.”

Santa asked “Where’s your selfie stick?”
I used to have a coworker who was Jewish and she was like, “When I moved to Seattle, everyone kept inviting me for Christmas because they felt bad I nowhere to be that day, and they just didn’t get thy it’s just a day to me.” And I was like, “That’s because we’re all heathens out here and it’s not a religious holiday for us. It’s a day to eat a lot and watch A Christmas Story nonstop for 24 hours.”

Heathen Christmas is pretty awesome. There’s presents and chocolate and we hang out all day in our PJs, and Jesus looks down on us from this picture.  

He looks pretty happy, don’t you think?