Cocktails with the Cult: Dave

My senior year of college, my roommate and I threw a lot of the parties for our group of friends. Some of those parties were seriously awesome, like the one that featured red Jell-O shots that one of my friends ended up eating with a spoon because they got melty, inspiring another friend, who wrote for the student paper, to name his regular column “Hot Dish with Red Jell-O.” Or the Christmas party, where the building manager called us down during it and we were sure we were being evicted for noise complaints, but it turned out she just wanted to give us leftovers from the official building party that afternoon to share with our guests. Man, that apartment kicked ass.

I had a friend from band named Dave who was a regular at our parties. On Dave’s birthday, we decided to invent a drink and name it after Dave, as a present. And to make it truly awesome, we made sure when people talked about the drink, they called it simply Dave. Not “a Dave” or “some Dave” or “the Dave,” but just “Dave.” So when you talked about the drink, you had to say things like “I want Dave” or “Dave tastes good” or “Pour me a big glass of Dave.” It’s the gift that keeps on giving, and now I share it with you.

Now to be honest, it’s been 15 years since I graduated from college, and damned if I remember exactly what was in Dave. I do know it sure as hell wasn’t measured or precise, I mean, we’re talking college students inventing a drink here. So really, feel free to adjust this one to taste. But the key ingredients are chocolate ice cream and creme de banana. (“Dave has some delicious banana.”) Put them in a blender, add some milk, and whatever other booze you have lying around that would go well with it, like Kahlua or Bailey’s or vodka. And blender it up until it’s smooth.

Pour it in a red plastic cup, take a sip, and say, “Mmmmmmm Dave.” And somewhere, my friend Dave will be smiling.

Blogging Kicks Ass

When I started this blog, it was mostly so I could write stuff down and get it out of my head. I didn’t know if anybody would bother reading it, or if they did, if they would find it interesting. What’s been coolest about this is, people HAVE found it interesting, and have shared it with each other and had conversations about it on Facebook. Even famous people (whose book you should go buy right now. No seriously, I’ll wait. And no, she’s not giving me any kickbacks, I just like her book that much) have shared stuff I’ve written. And what my readers think about what I write, what they say about what I write, is often not what I thought people would think when I wrote it. Which is just WAY WAY WAY cool.

Let me give an example: the Judgy McJudgerson post. I wrote it not thinking about this one friend of mine at all–she’s never Judgy McJudgerson’d me and I think of her as super supportive of the moms in our circle. But when she read it, she thought, “Oh wow, that is so me. Beth just called me out on my BS and she is right.” What? Really? Turns out she’s what a mutual friend of ours calls a “car seat nazi.” I had no idea, perhaps because I don’t post photos of my kids in their car seats that often, or when I do, they are properly buckled? Anyway, she read what I wrote and took away the lesson I intended (take a deep breath and remember your friend isn’t an idiot before you comment), even though, I didn’t intend that message to be directed at her.

Meanwhile, some other friends had a discussion about it in the context of feeling like you are a crappy mom who doesn’t have it together and being bitter about the moms who DO seem have it together. So, they are not judging someone for being a bad mom, they are judging them for being too good of a mom. Which also comes from a place of fear of our own inadequacies as parents, right? And THEN they talked about Judgy McJudgersoning themselves. Because we are all Judgy McJudgerson. Deeeeeeeep.

All of this reminds me of good times in college, living in the dorms and staying up waaaaay too late talking about deep thoughts. It felt cool, like our brains were going to change the world with their amazing ideas that got better and better as they bounced around the room off each other’s brains. That’s what blogging feels like to me–I launch an idea, and the people who read it take it and add to it and make it richer and more powerful.

So, thank you to all of you for reading, and then thinking and talking about what I write. This blogging thing kicks ass!